“I can’t do that.” “That’s not going to happen.” “I don’t think so.” “Not right now.” “Maybe another time.” “Unfortunately that doesn’t work.” I could go on, but I think you get the point. These are all phrases I constantly use that mean the same thing: No.
Do you say “no” enough? Or are you instead agreeing to everything that comes your way? 77% of people who participated in a behavioral study said they accepted an invitation because they feared what would happen if they declined. Many people—not just those participating in the study—struggle with the fear of hurting someone’s feelings or letting them down.
You’ll most likely regret immediately saying “yes” all the time to avoid disappointing someone. But I’m a big believer in putting yourself first before doing anything. Don’t just take my word for it, the same scholars conducted several follow-up experiments to gauge what really happens when people say no. Spoiler alert: Life went on, and those who extended the invite weren’t all that disappointed.
Saying no has so many positive benefits. These are the top reasons you should start using this powerful word more in both your personal and professional lives.
You are now in control
When you say no more often, it gives you the ability to make decisions for yourself and be more independent. Can you say, hello freedom? You learn how to set boundaries that boost your overall well-being. Plus, it’s crucial that you discover your inner voice and speak up for yourself. Be firm in your decisions and start getting comfortable expressing how you’re really feeling. So, if a coworker or boss is trying to get you to do something outside office hours, or it doesn’t align with your own career goals, don’t be afraid to pass.
My last boss (while working for toxic corporate America) asked me if I would be interested in taking on an entirely new role outside of my wheelhouse on top of my current duties and without a pay increase. Not even a second went by before I flat out said, “No, that’s not going to happen.” I drew the line, and that was the end of that conversation. Situations like this creep up in our day-to-day lives all the time. Avoid caving in as much as you can, you’ll be glad you did.
You have more balance
For me, saying no is a form of self-care and essentially a way to dodge burnout. As a CEO, I need to pick and choose carefully what I can commit to and what I can do without. It’s impacted some of my personal relationships, but your mental health is just not worth sacrificing.
You should never feel that you need to pour from an empty cup, and be sure to stay clear of people who don’t respect your space. Saying no reminds you to be in control of balancing your time and staying focused on what’s important to you, both short- and long-term.
Stretching yourself too thin is a recipe for disaster and is guaranteed to happen if you continually refrain from saying no. Being busy and productive all the time is not a flex anymore. Your body, mind, and spirit need to rest and recharge. Think of this as a practice in mindfulness, which we all could use a bit more of.
You have more confidence
Confidence is a must-have quality that can get you very far. It’s time you step into your true power. You need confidence to thrive personally and professionally if you want to become the person you’re destined to be.
Not saying no is passive behavior—something that most people tend to take advantage of if you allow them to. Be sure to tap into your inner strength at all times. You’re going to need it if you want to uphold your values. Don’t allow anything to compromise your self-esteem.
You’re never going to be able to please everyone—once you accept this, you realize you can only be responsible for your own happiness, not other people’s. This is a major stress reliever and makes sure that you only fill your time and life with people who are supportive and understanding and who don’t take away from your preferred journey and purpose.
As we enter the New Year, “Practicing to say no more” should be at the top of your resolutions. It can help you find your true desires and passions. Not to mention, you’ll feel more revived and rejuvenated than ever before knowing that you are prioritizing yourself and your needs.
Brennan Nevada Johnson is the founder and CEO of Brennan Nevada Inc., a PR and media relations partner.
