In one study, researchers set out to understand how people think about success. First, they asked participants to agree or disagree with a series of statements about how they believe other people define success. In response, 92% of people agreed that others view success as accumulating riches, fame, and power. Also, 86% agreed that others think that success can only be defined by comparing yourself to others.
Then the researchers asked them to agree or disagree to the same statements based on how they defined success for themselves. Of the participants, 97% agreed that success was pursuing their personal interests and talents (using your gifts). Also, 96% agreed that you can be successful regardless of how others do.
In short: We all think everyone else buys into old happy at work, but in reality, everyone wants new happy. Real success is about using our gifts.
We are walking around believing the worst about one another and building institutions in that warped image, which is preventing us from using our gifts and, thus, blocking us from happiness. It doesn’t have to be this way. We, the majority, want something different; we can speak up and enact change in our own workplaces, whether that is a 9-to-5, part-time work, seasonal work, a job you create, caregiving, or parenting.
Two powerful strategies can help you start using your gifts in your work: Transform the existing job you have, or find a job that is a better fit for your gifts.
Transform the job you have
The intensive care unit is one of the most stressful workplaces in the world. The pace is fast, the hours are long, and the stakes are as high as they can be.
Thanh Neville, a pulmonologist, had been working at UCLA’s intensive care unit for several years when she realized something: Death was one of their common diagnoses. About one in five patients in critical care doesn’t survive.
One day, Neville read in a journal about a Canadian hospital that implemented an initiative called the 3 Wishes Project (3WP), in which clinicians grant three end-of-life wishes for patients and their families. Neville realized that this could make a difference for her one in five patients and applied for a grant to implement it at UCLA.
The wishes vary, from a favorite meal to a bedside family gathering to bringing in Mickey Mouse. One of the nurses on the team had the idea to take fingerprints of the patients and make them into keychains. Neville told me, “Whenever I talk to a family member later, I ask them, ‘Do you remember that keychain?’ They hold it up and say, ‘You mean this one, that I carry with me all of the time?’”
3WP brought together Neville’s talent for medicine, her wisdom from the journal article and her work in the ICU, and her compassion. Implementing it changed her life for the better, she told me, describing a huge increase in her own sense of purpose and fulfillment. “It has brought me joy because I can do so much more for my patients now,” she said, “and I have a much greater awareness that love is what matters most in life.”
Neville told me a story about the first patient 3WP helped. He was a young man, in organ failure and on life support—married, just moved to Santa Monica, and loved the outdoors. His wife was horrified at the thought of him dying within the four walls of the hospital. The care team found a way to move him to a nearby patio. Neville gave his wife a blanket so she could crawl into bed with him. As the sun set, Neville disconnected his ventilator and he passed away. Every member of the staff was crying.
Four years later, Neville got an email from UCLA’s development team about a large new donation coming in for 3WP. That young man’s wife had gotten remarried, and she and her new husband had made this donation to help ensure other patients and families could have their wishes fulfilled, knowing how necessary help is in life’s unbearable moments.
Neville was already helping through her work before starting 3WP, just like you are helping through your work already. She took it to the next level by crafting her job to use her gifts in new, fulfilling ways.
This is a strategy known as job-crafting, first proposed by the psychologists Amy Wrzesniewski and Jane Dutton. Studies have shown that job-crafting not only can make you happier and reduce your stress, but even make you better at your work, even though you’re not doing exactly what you’re “supposed to do.”
If job-crafting sounds intimidating, know that you’re already doing it. As a completely unique person, you will always approach your work—whatever it is—in your own unique way.
You also have a lot of experience with crafting outside the workplace. For example:
- You wanted to start exercising. You started running on the treadmill but hated it, so you started cycling outside.
- You needed to take a business course to graduate. You signed up for an economic course but found it boring, so you switched to a marketing class.
- You wanted to be in a relationship. You didn’t enjoy going to bars and clubs to meet people, so you signed up for a dating app instead.
There are always roadblocks that stand between us and our goals, and we are used to pivoting and finding new paths. Crafting is just another word for “creative problem-solving.” In this case, you’re taking the job you have and turning it into work that brings you joy.
Jobs are a mixture of the following activities:
- Required tasks: filing expenses, checking out customers, or restocking
- Ongoing tasks: weekly meetings, client reports, or sales calls
- Relationships: interactions with human beings like your colleagues, manager, or customers
- Projects: delivering a product, taking on a new market, rebranding, or taking on a case or client
The same holds true if your work is offered in a home:
- Required tasks: cleaning, feeding, or giving medicine
- Ongoing tasks: ordering supplies or scheduling appointments
- Relationships: connecting with the person or people you care for
- Projects: finding a new school for your child or getting a new treatment protocol started Let’s look at how to craft each of these.
Craft your tasks
In my research, I came across a story of a customer service representative from Chewy, a pet food company.
A woman named Anna, whose pet had just passed away, contacted Chewy to ask if she could return her unopened pet food. The representative gave her a full refund, told her to donate the food to a shelter, and then sent her a bouquet of flowers. When Anna posted about this experience online, many similar stories appeared: Chewy has a long track record of doing these kind things for their customers, even sometimes having paintings commissioned of dearly departed pets.
The people on this team had a task to do—responding to their customers’ needs. But they did it in a way that used their humanity gifts: feeling compassion for their pain and taking the next loving action.
It’s an equation: task × gift. How can you turn this task into something that helps you and others experience more happiness?
The next time you’re at work, choose just one of your regular tasks and use this equation:
- Checking out customers × humanity = try to engage in a short but meaningful conversation with each person.
- Teaching a class × talent = weave your humor talent into the lecture, telling jokes to help your students remember key lessons.
- Writing status updates × wisdom = use your experience from past projects to anticipate questions and proactively answer them.
You also can use this strategy with all of your gifts—in this case, using the enhanced equation of task × gifts.
Michael Konstalid is a physical therapist, working in New York City’s Department of Education, who helps kids with their mobility needs.
Konstalid has three unique gifts: the humanity from watching his father navigate a neuromuscular health condition, the wisdom of knowing how impactful specific accommodations can be, and the talent of carpentering that he learned from his dad. Konstalid realized that he could combine his gifts and create custom furniture for the children he works for, like crafting a seat for a child with a motor neuron disorder so that she could sit on the floor with her classmates. In the first year of his job, he made eighty custom adaptative pieces—all free, all made from recycled or discarded furniture. He described the impact of making a piece for one particular child: “I see her in her class using something that I built, I know that I had a direct positive impact on her life and I know that her day is a little bit better, the light is shining a little bit brighter for her.”
Craft your relationships
A friend of mine, Maria, works in data management. She didn’t find her job enjoyable, but with young children at home, it wasn’t a priority to find a new one. I suggested that she try to craft her job by focusing on using her humanity gifts to connect with her coworkers.
Maria, an introvert, started small. She decided that every time she got up from her desk, like to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water, she would stop and say hi to someone else. The first few times, people looked surprised to see her stopping by. Over time though, this action sparked relationships with people from across the company.
Within a few months, Maria became the “go-to” person at the company, thanks to her new web of connections. She expressed her surprise that such a simple practice could make such a big difference:
“I truly enjoy going to work now, and while my daily tasks haven’t changed, it feels like a completely new job. It’s even made me a better mother and partner.”
Take a cue from Maria by starting to use your humanity gifts in your daily work life. In your next interaction or meeting, can you tap into your humanity and take the next loving action?
Craft a project
A few years ago, the principal at West Side Elementary School in Healdsburg, California, made a call to Jessica Martin, an artist specializing in mixed-media art. The principal wanted to know if she would come to the school and start a brand-new arts program. Martin was apprehensive but decided to take the leap. Within two weeks, she had fallen head over heels for the students, teachers, and community. In 2020, Martin was contemplating how she could teach her students about compassion. She connected with a fellow teacher named Asherah Weiss, and together they came up with the idea of creating a “compassion hotline.”
Martin and Weiss asked their students questions about compassion and recorded their answers for the hotline, which they named Peptoc. If you can, I urge you, right now, to call this number to hear it for yourself: 1-707-873-7862. Callers are given a menu of options: If you’re feeling mad, frustrated, or nervous, press 1. If you need words of encouragement and life advice, press 2. If you need a pep talk, press 3.
If you press 2, you’ll hear recorded voices from children encouraging you to keep going:
“Be grateful for yourself.” “Dude, live it up!”
“Be YOU!”
“It’s okay to be different.”
“The world is a better place with you in it.”
Peptoc quickly went viral, receiving more than five million calls in the three months after it launched.
No one put “design a hotline” in Martin’s and Weiss’s job descriptions. You, too, can come up with a project that brings you joy and makes an impact on the world. Brainstorm by asking yourself these questions:
- If I was in charge of this company, what project would I launch?
- What project would make my work more fun or meaningful?
- How do I think we could better support the people we serve?
Make your work work for you, and everyone benefits.
Excerpted from New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong by Stephanie Harrison with permission of TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © Stephanie Harrison, 2024.
Stephanie Harrison is the creator of the New Happy philosophy. Her work has been featured in publications such as Fast Company, Forbes, and Harvard Business Review. She is the founder of The New Happy, a company helping individuals, companies, and communities apply this philosophy in their lives. The New Happy’s art, newsletter, podcast, and programs reach millions of people around the world.
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