Daughter Embarrassed That Her Well-Off Mom Uses Food Banks, But It Could Be a Sign of Dementia

In post-pandemic America, food banks are becoming a vital resource for working families. A recent Reddit post, however, has sparked concern. A financially secure 71-year-old woman, despite not needing the assistance, was repeatedly using food banks. Her daughter, feeling a mix of concern and embarrassment, took to Reddit to express her feelings. She noted that her mother had secure housing and upcoming trips abroad, yet continued to frequent food pantries for non-perishable goods. What began as an inquiry into her mother’s odd behaviour soon transformed into a discussion about a deeper concern—could this behaviour be a sign of dementia?

Hoarding as a Sign of Cognitive Decline

While the daughter initially believed her mother’s actions were inappropriate, Reddit users pointed out that this behaviour could be a symptom of dementia. Several users shared similar stories of their elderly parents or grandparents who, in the early stages of dementia, began hoarding food items they didn’t need or even like. One user mentioned how their wealthy grandmother, who had millions in her bank account, would compulsively gather canned food from charity organisations. Another shared how their mother, living in assisted care, would collect items like oatmeal packets, despite disliking oatmeal, and hide them in her walker. These experiences resonated with others, as many recognised the link between hoarding and the need for control that often accompanies dementia.

According to the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, hoarding is a common early symptom of Alzheimer’s disease, particularly with food items. The need to stockpile food provides a sense of security for individuals losing their cognitive abilities. As memory fades, hoarding offers emotional comfort, giving them a feeling of control even as other aspects of their life slip away. Jennifer Reeder, LCSW, explains that hoarding behaviour may start small. Still, it can quickly lead to health and safety risks, such as expired food or pest infestations, especially when caregivers aren’t aware of the underlying issue.

Food Insecurity and Ethical Concerns

This case raises important questions about the intersection of mental health and food security. According to CNN, one in eight households in the U.S. experiences food insecurity, and food banks are often a critical lifeline for families who cannot afford basic necessities. However, when individuals like the Reddit user’s mother—who has no financial need—use these services, it raises ethical questions. Is it fair for someone who can afford groceries to take resources from those in desperate need? Yet, if this behaviour stems from a cognitive issue like dementia, it becomes more about addressing mental health rather than questioning morality.

Many Reddit users related to the original poster’s dilemma, sharing their own experiences with elderly parents or relatives. One user remarked on how their mother, who has dementia, hides items like bananas and napkins in her room, believing she is being sneaky. Others mentioned cleaning out their parents’ rooms weekly to remove expired or unnecessary items, a practice that becomes part of the caregiving routine. It’s clear that this hoarding behaviour, especially among those with dementia, is not uncommon.

Addressing Dementia-Related Hoarding

Caregivers of individuals with dementia are often left managing complex emotions and behaviours. Jennifer Reeder from the Alzheimer’s Foundation advises caregivers to approach hoarding delicately, ensuring that items are removed gradually without causing distress to the person affected. Safety should always be a priority, especially when hoarded food is spoiled or presents health risks. Reeder also suggests involving the individual in decluttering to help maintain their autonomy and emotional comfort.

Ultimately, this case underscores the importance of recognising potential early signs of dementia, such as compulsive hoarding. Early recognition can lead to early intervention, which is crucial in managing the condition effectively. What began as a daughter’s embarrassment over her mother’s actions may, in fact, be an opportunity to address a serious underlying health issue. For families dealing with similar challenges, understanding the connection between dementia and hoarding is crucial in providing appropriate care.