Who?
Space Karen.
Qualifications for the job
Owns a lot of successful companies — and X.
Strong social media presence.
Thinks workers should be “extremely hardcore.”
One good reason not to get the job
Could get into an ego battle with Trump as both have their own fragrance. Musk (who really should have a perfume with a surname like that) has a scent called “Burnt Hair” (which probably smells of testosterone and tears), while Trump has Victory 47, described by Adam Kinzinger, a former Republican lawmaker, as smelling like “armpits, ketchup, a butt and makeup.”
Rose Garden gardener
Nigel Farage
Who?
Trump sycophant. British member of parliament for Clacton (no, really). Milkshake enthusiast. Once beaten in an election by a man in a dolphin costume.
Qualifications for the job
Desperate to be near Trump (and as far away from the day job as possible).
Once posted an online video in which he was duped into saying “Up the ’Ra!”, a reference to the Irish Republican Army, which has the same initials as the U.S.’s Inflation Reduction Act.
One good reason not to get the job
Earns too much money in the U.K. (plus America has worse beer).
