Welcome to “Pressing Questions,” Fast Company’s mini-advice column. Every week, deputy editor Kathleen Davis, host of The New Way We Work podcast, will answer the biggest and most pressing workplace questions.
Q: How do I apologize at work?
A: We’ve all been on the receiving end of a bad apology and know that it can often make the situation even worse.
The first and most important part of any apology is taking responsibility for what you did wrong—with no qualifiers, excuses, or explanations. It sounds simple but it’s human nature to try to explain ourselves.
Don’t say, “It wasn’t my intention . . . ” or “I’m sorry for X, but . . . ” Those kinds of phrases negate the apology. State what you did and say you are sorry: “I’m sorry. It’s my fault that the client is unhappy about the price. I didn’t proofread the email before I sent it, and the client received a quote that was $1,000 below our normal rate.”
You may have made the mistake because you were sleep deprived, or because your workload has increased, which are valid reasons, but now isn’t the time to bring them up.
The next step is to offer a solution. It might be as simple as making sure you don’t repeat the mistake again: If you misgendered a colleague on a call, you can say, “I’m sorry for my mistake; I’ll make sure not to do that again.” And from then on, remember the colleague’s pronouns and don’t repeat your mistake.
If it’s a mistake that might cost the company money or damage relationships, mention anything that you’ve already done (“I immediately emailed the client back and explained the typo”). If it’s more complicated, offer both solutions and ask for feedback on what would help repair the mistake.
The final step in making a sincere apology at work or anywhere in your life: Plan for what you’ll do in the future. Hopefully, the old parental adage is true: No punishment is worse than the guilt you feel. It’s humbling to mess up and that feeling is likely to stick with you, so you’re unlikely to make the same mistake twice. But, once the dust settles, it’s wise to think about what went wrong and use it as an opportunity to fix a process, circumstance, or habit that might have led to the mistake.
Want more advice on apologizing? Here’s some further reading:
