Now the easy part: the running itself. What you want to do is find somewhere quiet, with very low foot traffic. The last thing you want when you’re starting out is to hit a well-known track and have your confidence shattered by an aspiring Olympian sprinting at an unfathomable pace or, worse yet, being passed by someone you can’t quite believe is passing you with ease. And if you start counting down the distance still left to go in your head, it’s game over. Sorry.
Once you’ve found your spot, have all your overpriced gear on, done all the introspection needed and told your co-workers, friends, family and loose acquaintances that you’re a runner now, you can finally get down to the act of, well, running.
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See, this is fun right? Easy, huh? Great work, you got this! OK, just slow down a bit. The first few hundred metres feel easy, but don’t fall for that trap. Seriously, stop, this is not sustainable. Go so slow that you’re bored by the very idea of moving your body. The pace where you begin to wonder who decided putting one foot in front of the other for an indeterminate amount of time while lightly sweating was the height of human achievement is the sweet spot. This is the pace you should go at. This is sustainable. What’s that? You want to stop already? But we only just started you literal piece of garbage!
If you find yourself gradually learning to love the process, congratulations – you’re doing it right. If you find yourself still hating it, months into your new hobby, congratulations – you’re also doing it right. No one else needs to know that. Just smile for the camera, would you?
Brandon Jack is a freelance writer and former AFL player.
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