If you’re planning your upcoming nuptials, there’s a lot to think about. Not only do you have to consider a wedding budget, venue, countless logistics, and a honeymoon destination, but you also have to sort out which family members and friends will give a speech at the wedding.
Although deciding the wedding speeches may feel like the bottom of your to-do list, trust that this is more important of a decision than you think. (The last thing you want people to remember about your wedding is the 20-minute speech made by a drunk groomsman.)
“Speeches provide an opportunity for loved ones to express their feelings and share memorable moments with the newlyweds. It adds a personal touch to the celebration and creates a sense of unity among guests,” wedding planner Carissa Kruse says.
To help you come up with some ideas, Kruse shares her thoughts on who should give speeches at weddings. With wedding season already here, you’ll want to keep this in mind.
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Carissa Kruse is a certified wedding planner at Carissa Kruse Weddings.
Who Gives Speeches at Weddings?
Traditionally, the people who give speeches at a wedding most often include the maid of honor (or man of honor or honor attendant), the best man (or best woman or best attendant), and father of the bride (or any parent of the couple). But this is not a hard-and-fast rule.
Kruse recommends choosing any close family members or friends who you have a special connection with. “This can include parents, siblings, best friends, or mentors — these individuals know the couple well and can share meaningful stories and anecdotes that will resonate with everyone in attendance,” she adds.
More recently, you may have noticed that some newlyweds are choosing to give speeches at their own wedding, as well. “This is completely up to the couple,” Kruse says. “Some may feel comfortable speaking in front of a large group, while others may prefer to keep their feelings private.”
If you want to give a speech with your new spouse, it can be a great way to greet the family and friends who attended your wedding. But it’s NBD if you don’t want to. At the end of the day, you can do whatever you want at your own wedding.
As for how many people should be giving speeches, you can choose however many you want. That said, because Kruse recommends keeping speeches between three to five minutes, it’s best to hear from two to five people total. Again, this is entirely up to you.
At the end of the day, the couple should decide on someone they feel comfortable with giving a speech, even if it goes against tradition. “As long as the person has a genuine connection with the couple and can deliver a heartfelt message, it will add a special touch to the wedding day,” Kruse says.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
