When it comes to having sex, nipple play is one of the most underrated forms of sexual exploration. Why? Because the nipples are a highly sensitive area that can enhance the power of your orgasms and pleasure, regardless of your gender.
“Nipples have a high concentration of nerve endings and are considered an erogenous zone for many people, as they can be sensitive to touch, pressure, or temperature,” clinical psychologist Lisa Lawless, PhD, says.
It doesn’t matter if you’re masturbating by yourself or having sex with a partner, playing with your or your partner’s nipples is a great way to add some spice in the bedroom — not just because it feels good, but because “the brain releases the hormone oxytocin when erogenous zones like the nipples are stimulated,” Dr. Lawless adds.
Before diving into the techniques and strategies of nipple play, though, it’s important to note that everyone’s preferences and sensitivity levels are different. In other words, what feels amazing for one person’s nipples might feel uncomfortable or even painful to another. For that reason, before engaging in any sort of nipple play, it’s important to communicate openly with your partner — both before, during, and after sex — to ensure everything feels good.
Once you feel comfortable and ready to dive into the world of nipple play, here’s what to know about your nipples and how to use them for tons, and tons, and tons of pleasure.
Experts Featured in This Article
Lisa Lawless, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and CEO of Holistic Wisdom.
What Is Nipple Play?
Nipple play is anything that involves stimulating your nipples during sex, Dr. Lawless says. For some people, this can include manual stimulation, like touching, licking, sucking, pinching, and biting. For others, it can involve using sex toys such as nipple clamps, nipple suckers, and more, she adds.
It’s important to note that “some people enjoy nipple play while others do not, and the extent of stimulation that people may enjoy varies from light touch to quite strong,” Dr. Lawless says. For that reason, it’s important to start very light with nipple play and increase pressure and intensity as you get used to (and enjoy!) the sensations.
Can You Have a Nipple Orgasm?
Also known as nipplegasms, nipple orgasms are orgasms that are said to come from nipple stimulation. If you’re wondering whether nipple orgasms are actually legit, though, the answer is complicated.
Dr. Lawless explains that while stimulating the nipples can absolutely lead to an orgasm, the orgasm doesn’t occur in the nipples. Instead, the orgasmic sensation is a “psychological and physiological response to nipple stimulation” that occurs in the genitals. In other words, while you’re not actually having an orgasm in the nipples, nipple play could lead to an orgasm in the genitals — just as stimulating any other erogenous zone could.
Tips on How to Incorporate Nipple Play Into Sex
If you’re interested in bringing nipple play into the bedroom, the first thing you can do is experiment on yourself. During masturbation, notice how light or firm you like to touch your nipples, and pay attention to what feels good.
Then, if you’re ready to bring a partner into the mix, talk to them about your wants and needs. Communicate what interests you about nipple play, what nipple play looks like to you, and how you’d like for them to contribute to your own nipple stimulation. It may be helpful to establish a safe word like “red” or “pineapple” before play starts in order to stop whenever the stimulation feels too intense.
Once you’re ready to incorporate nipple play into partnered sex, Dr. Lawless suggests experimenting with different sensations, such as “cold, heat, rubbing, licking, sucking, pinching, or even light biting.” You can also dabble in temperature play by running an ice cube down your chest and over your nipples, or by using hot wax. Because you have a safe word, you can always use it to stop play if it ever feels like too much or you’re not enjoying yourself.
If you’re ready to upgrade your nipple stimulation, you can invest in a sex toy like nipple clamps, which “applies pressure and pinching of the nipples,” says Dr. Lawless. Nipple ticklers, nipple pumps, and nipple suckers also come highly recommended. Just note that these toys should only be used for 10-15 minutes at a time to prevent tissue damage, says Dr. Lawless.
Most importantly, have fun with it, and “integrate nipple stimulation simultaneously with other types of stimulation,” suggests Dr. Lawless. This means that while nipple play by itself might feel amazing, you can also engage the nipples during oral sex and penetrative sex for an even better experience.
Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
