The Ranch Malibu Review and Photos

There’s a cat that lives in the garden at The Ranch Malibu. On any given day, guests of the wellness retreat can find the small tabby prancing among the strawberries and oregano, with a view of the Santa Monica Mountains to one side and the Pacific Ocean not far away on the other. Though I’ve envied the lives of felines from time to time, I’ve never wanted to be a cat more.

The Ranch Malibu is just an hour away for most Angelenos — located a few miles up the road from Neptune’s Net, a mecca of fried fish, beer, and bikers — but it may as well be on another planet. Since first opening its doors in 2010, the retreat has become known for being no-nonsense with luxury flourishes: guests come for weeks at a time, and their daily routines consist of guided hikes, low-impact fitness classes, massages, and plant-based meals.

While one week is the minimum for stays at The Ranch, I was recently able to get a taste of the program with a one-night stay with Fora, a modern travel agency. Did my 24 hours at The Ranch help me better understand why guests will pay thousands to essentially do two-a-days on a vegan diet? I get into all that below.

Here’s what prospective travelers should know about what it’s like to stay at The Ranch Malibu.

About The Ranch Malibu

What I Like About The Ranch Malibu

I’m not too proud to admit that when I first arrived at The Ranch, I was intimidated. I gathered with fellow guests in the common area, which looked straight out of a Nancy Meyers production with its neutrals and California-casual aesthetic. I mingled with other guests as we sipped on berry smoothies. Then, we hiked.

While individual schedules can be entirely customized, The Ranch strongly recommends its daily hikes, which can vary from two to four hours depending on a guest’s preferences. I spent the majority of the hike getting to know the other guests, which offered a welcome distraction. The hike came in just under two hours, but it was still strenuous enough to make most of us ravenous for lunch.

Lunch was a revelation. I’m a meat eater with a lactose intolerance that I manage to thwart by keeping several Lactaid packets on my person at all times. I also eat so much sushi that I joke I’m just one hand roll away from mercury poisoning. And yet, I still think about this lunch, which was a vegan poke bowl with watermelon masquerading as raw tuna, and quite convincingly. Any reservations I had about the plant-based menu were relieved in that moment.

Then, it was time to settle into my cottage. Rooms are The Ranch are intentionally sparse but lovely. The beds are comfortable, and I strongly suggest visitors make good use of the exfoliating soap bar, which I’ve been told has a bit of a cult following. There are no televisions or phones, and any announcements are shared via walkie-talkie. Rooms have everything you need for a stay of this kind, but it does also feel like you’re at a (very expensive) summer camp.

For the remainder of the day, I explored the property and made use of its many amenities, which are a definite highlight. I took a strength-training class, swam in the pool, and got one of the best massages of my life. And despite never having cold plunged before, I managed to brave the tubs twice. When at The Ranch, I suppose.

Dinner was communal, which is the typical way, and we had a carrot soup followed by an eggplant parmesan stack and a vegan take on a strawberry cheesecake for dessert. I passed out around 9:30 p.m. after dinner and started the following day with a sound bath meditation before checking out.

What to Consider Before Booking The Ranch Malibu

For travelers looking to level up (or begin) their wellness routine, The Ranch is pretty much the blueprint. That said, there are some considerations. For starters, the retreat motivates participates to challenge themselves physically, but it can be easy to overdo it if you’re not already in a consistent workout routine. For further context: I’m someone who consistently works out five times a week, and I was moderately sore the day after all my activities.

The one-week minimum may also be restrictive. For travelers who may be seeking a vacation with some wellness activities peppered in, there are many hotels with that to offer. The Ranch, however, may not be one of them.

And, of course, the cost is a significant consideration. The Ranch comes with a high price tag — one that, yes, encompasses meals, accommodations, and activities, but it’s an exceedingly high one nonetheless. Though there are returning guests (Michelle Obama, to name one), for most, The Ranch is a once-in-a-lifetime type of place.

Who The Ranch Malibu Is Best For

The Ranch is best for adventurers and health-conscious travelers seeking a challenge. (The retreat also makes a strong case for plant-based diets, for anyone who may be vegan-curious.) While couples are welcome, I found The Ranch is best done solo, and you may end up getting more from the experience that way.

And lastly, The Ranch is a fitting choice for anyone hoping to also detox digitally: while there is WiFi in the private cottages, there’s no cell reception elsewhere on the property. And with its absence of televisions, The Ranch really forces guests to embrace a more unplugged lifestyle for the week.

Is The Ranch Malibu Worth the Trip?

With a starting price of $9,200, a retreat at The Ranch is a considerable cost — one that won’t be worth it for travelers who may not be willing to follow the program as recommended. But for visitors willing to commit to the activities and pick up a few new wellness habits from the experience, there is certainly much value in that.

Rating

★★★★★

Kelsey Garcia (she/her) is the associate content director of PS Balance, where she oversees lifestyle coverage, from relationships to parenting to financial wellness. Kelsey is passionate about travel, dating trends, and changes in the workplace. Before joining the PS team as an editorial assistant in 2015, she interned at Elle and Harper’s Bazaar, among other publications.