“Some really stupid people work here,” my new boss said on the first day of what I then considered my dream job.
The manager in the room laughed and nodded in solidarity.
“You’ll figure out pretty quickly who’s stupid and who’s not,” the CEO continued, smiling at me in a way I interpreted—looking back, I think correctly—as conspiratorially.
Obviously, this was a huge red flag. While I felt pretty optimistic that both the CEO and manager were confident in my professional abilities, I remember wondering what kind of shit-talking they would do—about my outfit? posture? the accent I didn’t realize I had the CEO had already off-handedly noted sounded very “small town”?—when they left me.
Still, the excitement surrounding the fact that I considered this particular role my dream job, and very honestly—and even now, I don’t love admitting this—the rush that came with knowing that my boss didn’t consider me but others stupid, made it possible for me to push it to the back of my brain. It didn’t exactly disappear, though, coming forward every time another red flag waved, which, if you could imagine, was often.
Shockingly, that job didn’t end on a high note.
For about six months, I could do no wrong. However, then—and I’m confident this had less to do with professional performance than me not engaging in office politics—I was cycled out of my shiny-new-object status, a new shiny toy was anointed, and I suddenly had the distinct feeling that I was now perceived by the C-Suite in-crowd as one of those stupid people to be consistently ridiculed and subjected to unnecessary hoop-jumping.
My fears were confirmed one night. I stayed late to work on a project that wasn’t landing with leadership, no matter how often I implemented their constantly shifting revisions. I’d left my office to visit the water cooler and overheard the CEO say, “If Pat weren’t so dumb, maybe we wouldn’t have to stay late tonight,” to the sales manager one room over. (I’m still unsure if I heard this accidentally or it was intended for me to hear.)
I thought about my old boss when I saw a recent Harris Poll that found nearly one-third of American workers are in therapy to cope with their toxic bosses. I never went to therapy—which probably has less to do with the toxicity I encountered and more with being raised Irish Catholic—but that job took a toll on my self-confidence. At my lowest, I questioned whether I belonged in a role I now know I’m very good at.
While I have a lot of theories on what makes toxic bosses torment and debase their employees, one is that for years the “asshole boss” was not only tolerated but glorified in popular culture. (I always think of this Jeff Bezos headline when I think of this hypothesis.) And since there’s typically no training to be bosses or managers, many simply cosplay what they think a boss should be—what boggles my mind is that they continue to do so despite mounting evidence that it’s actively bad for business.
To put it simply, toxic behavior is a stupid business decision. A 2019 survey by the Society for Human Resources Management found that 58% of people who quit a job due to culture cited bosses and managers as their main reason. The bottom line is that billions are lost annually due to bad employee retention.
Money, productivity, and profitability also hurt when a workforce isn’t engaged. Gallup finds that only 32% of Americans felt engaged at work last year. Toxic workplaces (and bosses) directly correlate to a lack of employee engagement.
It does feel like things are shifting and that the days of keeping strong and carrying on in the workplace are waning. I know once I got confirmation that I was one of the stupid people, I stopped caring so much. I stopped going above and beyond, didn’t give my best effort, and started looking for new employment—I quietly quit before Gen Z anointed the practice with a buzzword!
Speaking of said buzzword, the Harvard Business Review conducted a study and found a direct correlation between “quiet quitting” and feeling undervalued and underappreciated by a boss or manager. But quitting because of toxic bosses isn’t a new buzzy phenomenon. A 2019 study shows that 57% of employees quit because of their bosses, which still holds today. Poor work/life balance, unfair pay, toxic workplace cultures, and bad bosses, are the top reasons for quitting, according to a 2023 FlexJobs survey.
During the job interview that led me to leave that stupid-people-ridden job, I bucked best practices and spoke honestly about the poor workplace culture in my current role. I wanted to ensure that I was applying to a company that valued their employees and wanted to be able to turn away from any red flags before I accepted an offer, so I told my eventual new manager about the stupid-people comment.
“Doesn’t hiring stupid people make you the stupid one?” they said.
