Men who can’t feed their families have no right to sex— Kanayo O Kanayo

Veteran Nollywood actor Kanayo O. Kanayo has stated that men who cannot provide for their families have no right to demand sex from their wives.

The actor, whose persona is often dubbed as “Nnanyi Sacrifice” (The Father of Sacrifices), shared the controversial stance in an Instagram post on Sunday.

Kanayo, known for his frank opinions, expressed worry about the growing number of men depending on women for support and urged men to take responsibility for their families.

The 62-year-old actor said, “I woke up this morning disturbed by a trend. It’s useless and dangerous when a man depends on a woman to feed him. The usual thing, which is the most disturbing part, is that women want to defend their husbands so that whatever is happening on the inside does not get on the outside.

“Sometimes, this is detrimental to their progress. Every man has the responsibility of his family. Like we read in the holy books, a man who cannot take care of his family is worse than an infidel. But, I am saying on this note that a man who cannot feed his family has no use and no need to use his private part on a woman.”

Partner choice

The multiple award-winning actor advised women to be cautious in choosing partners, especially when a man fails to provide.

He said, “They have a responsibility, and women still try to cover their husbands. This advice is to young women: know who you marry. All over the place today is ‘I love him, I love him.’ When he doesn’t provide—Nil—when he doesn’t produce, you start having the ideas to take advances from other men.

“I have been disturbed by this norm because of the women who take their husbands—even when he loses his jobs, or he is always in the house, or he doesn’t struggle or hustle like other men. Women need to protect their husbands, but to an extent—do not, in your defence, make the man irresponsible to the point that he doesn’t take his bills anymore.

Responsibility risk

In the movie, Doyen shared a personal story to illustrate his point, mentioning a man he knew who avoided his household duties, leaving his wife to handle everything.

Kanayo recounted, “I have a personal experience of a man I know who, even if his wife’s car goes bad, pretends he doesn’t know, as well as other responsibilities in the house. It reached a level where the covering became so open and wasn’t a blanket anymore.”

He cautioned women not to protect their husbands to the point of enabling irresponsibility, especially when their young children are involved.

The 62-year-old veteran actor stated, “As much as you can cover your husband, don’t cover him to the level of irresponsibility, especially if your children are still within the age-growing stage where you have to pay school fees and so on. It brings a lot of temptation to the woman, especially when advances are being made.

“When you protect your husband, don’t protect him from being stupid and irresponsible. There is a need for every man to engage in hard work. Let’s have men engineering their efforts to protect their families, ensuring the children’s school fees are paid.”

African context

Reflecting on the African cultural context, Kanayo noted that the financial responsibility traditionally rests on men. He said, “We are Africans; we don’t share bills 50/50. It’s good that if a woman has, let her contribute.

“But then, let us maintain our responsibilities. The real deal is when a man gets to 55-60 and doesn’t reduce to making sure he was doing the monkey game of when he has and then saying the opposite that he doesn’t have. Young ladies, mind who you marry.”

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The actor’s views have sparked debate about gender roles, financial responsibility, and marriage in African households, with many people split over his strict stance on a husband’s obligations.

Kanayo married Nneka Onyekwere in 1999, and they have four children together.

In June, while speaking on ‘The Honest Bunch podcast, Kanayo revealed that he had been separated from his wife for almost four years and only fully understood divorce after moving to Lagos. He stated that he does not believe in monogamy, arguing that it is foreign to African culture.

The actor is widely recognised for his role in the classic film Living in Bondage (1992). He is also known for playing intense characters in iconic movies like Billionaires Club and Nneka the Pretty Serpent. He has received several accolades, including the national honour of MFR.

Beyond acting, Kanayo is active in philanthropy and social causes and unsuccessfully entered politics in 2023.