A viral Reddit post recently ignited heated debate after a woman shared her disappointment upon discovering that her fiancé, who earns $200,000 annually, proposed to her with a $38 ring purchased from the Chinese e-commerce platform Temu. The post sparked widespread discussions about the significance of engagement rings, financial commitment, and the ethics of buying inexpensive goods. For the woman, the discovery turned what was initially a joyful moment into one of confusion and frustration.
A Proposal That Took an Unexpected Turn
The 27-year-old woman shared that she had been dating her fiancé, 29, for three years when he proposed a few weeks ago. Initially, she was thrilled, describing the ring as “stunning” and noting that her friends and family also admired it. The ring, featuring an oval cut with small stones along the band, seemed perfect at first. “I really liked the ring when I first saw it,” she said.
However, things took a different turn when she became curious about whether the ring was diamond or moissanite. Her fiancé was vague, saying he didn’t know and would have to look it up. Suspicious, she later noticed that he had been browsing on the Temu app. When she asked if the ring was from there, he avoided the question and eventually slept on the couch, leaving her confused. “I spent all night so confused,” she wrote in her post.
The following day, she downloaded the Temu app and found the exact ring listed for $38. “I am mad,” she admitted. While she clarified that she didn’t have a preference for expensive jewellery, she was taken aback that someone who earns a significant salary would choose such a low-cost item for such an important occasion. For her, the ring’s price wasn’t the issue—it was what it symbolised. “He makes good money (200K/yr) and I feel like he could’ve shelled out some money for a ring better than one on Temu,” she added.
The Rising Cost of Engagement Rings
Her disappointment came amid a broader context of rising engagement ring costs. According to The Knot’s 2023 Real Weddings Study, the average engagement ring in the United States costs $5,500, although the figure varies depending on location and personal preferences. Couples in states like New York and California often spend more than $6,900 on a ring, while the Midwest averages around $4,900.
Many couples feel societal pressure to spend a significant amount on engagement rings, with traditional advice suggesting that an engagement ring should reflect the buyer’s financial commitment. Though the so-called “three months’ salary” rule is considered outdated, the expectation for engagement rings to carry a certain value still persists.
In contrast, the $38 ring from Temu stood out as an exceptionally budget-friendly option. Platforms like Temu and Shein have become increasingly popular for offering low-cost goods, but their affordability often raises concerns about quality and ethics.
The White House’s Crackdown on Cheap Goods
The popularity of platforms like Temu has even caught the attention of U.S. lawmakers. According to NBC News, the White House has been working on closing trade loopholes that allow Chinese e-commerce giants to import goods into the U.S. without paying certain tariffs. Known as de minimis exemptions, these loopholes enable platforms like Temu to sell products at incredibly low prices, but they also raise concerns about counterfeit goods, questionable labour practices, and potential health risks.
For the woman in this story, these concerns compounded her frustration. After receiving messages warning her about the potential health risks of wearing jewellery from platforms with questionable manufacturing standards, she grew even more reluctant to continue wearing the ring. Her fiancé, however, defended his decision, claiming that the ring was highly rated and affordable. He even offered to replace it if it broke, but didn’t promise a higher-quality replacement.
A Deeper Issue: Symbolism or Materialism?
The debate around this engagement ring touches on deeper questions about what an engagement ring represents. For many, it’s not the price of the ring that matters, but the thoughtfulness and care that go into choosing it. In this case, the woman’s frustration seemed rooted not just in the ring’s cost, but in her fiancé’s evasiveness and lack of consideration for the occasion.
In a follow-up post, the woman shared more details about the tension in their relationship. After confronting him about the ring, her fiancé became defensive and accused her of being materialistic. “What kind of person do you think I am? You think I’m a cheapskate? A liar? You obviously think really poorly of me,” he told her. Though he later apologised and offered to let her pick out a new ring, he made it a point to say that she could do so as long as she bought the new ring herself.
In her final update, the woman reflected on her fiancé’s behaviour and whether she could move forward with the engagement. “Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I don’t think I can handle a marriage with someone like this,” she concluded.
