Darren Palmer is an interior designer and judge on The Block. Here, the 46-year-old shares why he felt safer around women growing up, the process it took to come out to his entire family and why he and his husband got married twice.
Being gay in the early ’90s in rural Queensland was not easy. Nothing made sense until I came out when I was 19.Credit: Niki Schuch
My paternal grandmother, Iris, was an avid reader with a fierce intellect who lived in Far North Queensland. She had two children before my grandfather left for World War II, and four more after he returned. She passed away when I was in my late 20s.
My maternal grandmother, Nan [Mary], is 95 and lives in Rockhampton. She raised five children, and her home was always welcoming and safe. Our family would visit for 10 days at a time and come back overfed and happy.
Nan also went by the name Topsy, a nickname since childhood, and came from a family of cotton farmers. She loved cooking and making biscuits. She was a bit of a hoarder – her home was tidy but packed with stuff and she stored things under the house.
I was born in Gladstone, Queensland, and lived there for my first 17 years. It’s an industrial port – Dad [Selwyn] was a boilermaker and there are no interior designers around! Mum [Rosie] was the one who inspired me to pursue interior design. She had cool furniture from the 1980s and seeing how well she put our home together was my starting point.
Mum is also a great cook who made the most delicious maraschino cherry and macadamia cake for me. My parents are happily married, great humans with good moral compasses, and they inspire me. I was very lucky to be raised in a peaceful family home in the country. Mum always put us kids first.
My sister Danielle, and I are quite different and weren’t close as kids, but we’re super close as adults. She was the first person in my family that I told I was gay. I grew up in a male-dominated town and as a gay kid I orientated myself toward the women in my life because they felt safe.
My year 10 English teacher, Margo Webber at Gladstone State High School, was stylish and chic and made a huge impact on my life. I didn’t try that hard at school, but loved her subject. She put faith in me and allowed me to feel confident enough to apply myself to being better at something.
My first kiss was with a girl in Year 10. I had girlfriends at school and felt it was something I had to do. I had pushed my sexuality aside and didn’t give it much thought.
