THE fairways have been walked by Hollywood icons.
The greens have been putted on by sporting superstars (of the world champion variety).
But if you want to tee it up on this famous golf course, you better hope to have a friend from high society – and a spare £100,000.
Loch Lomond Golf Club is one of the finest golfing venues in Scotland – but you’ll be lucky to ever experience it for yourself.
That’s because of its super-strict rules on who can play, which have led to its reputation as the hardest course to get a game on anywhere in the country.
Even the website is somewhat veiled, with little information on it other than pictures of the course and the lavish clubhouse, occasionally accompanied by quotes.
Scrolling to the bottom there is some text, in which the club says: “Loch Lomond Golf Club is one of the finest private members’ clubs in the world and the privilege of membership (and with it the opportunity to play our extraordinary course) is extended only to those proposed by our esteemed group of existing members or expressly invited by the club.
“It is perfectly situated for those who travel the world for business and pleasure. Less than 90 minutes from London, two hours from Paris and approximately six hours from both New York and Dubai.”
The course used to host the Scottish Open before it moved to being a links-based tournament.
To this day Loch Lomond comes second perhaps only to Gleneagle’s as Scotland’s best inland course (in the eyes of some, it’s the best bar none).
Hidden on the bonnie banks of the eponymous loch, there may not be a more pleasant spot to play golf anywhere in the world – and you’d be forgiven for forgetting it’s under an hour from Glasgow.
Its peaceful here and the towering Trossachs and the looming colossus of Ben Lomond ensure the player has picturesque views at every turn, whether it be the calmness of the water or the striking hillsides covered in heather.
Each hole (other than the second and fourth) are sheltered from one other, adding to the feeling of blissful isolation. Over 60 species of tree live on the course and only the greenest of them block out the noise – and any sight – of the A82 that runs alongside a couple of the holes.
Loch Lomond is famed for its pristine condition. It always looks perfectly manicured, down to the smallest blade of grass, no matter the time of year.
And there’s a reason for that beyond having skilled and dedicated greenkeepers.
That’s because it’s affluent members – despite the hefty fees they pay – are actually limited to the number of rounds they can play per year.
It doesn’t seem to bother them though, and perhaps it works out.
A leaked email from 2006 had just FIVE PERCENT of the membership listed as having Scottish addresses.
Some of them would be flying in from the Bahamas, the USA or further afield.
One man who did just that was Sir Sean Connery, who was famously a member at Loch Lomond whilst living in the Caribbean.
The identity of the membership is shrouded in mystery. Only once has a substantial list of members been released – and the club has kept it hush-hush ever since.
A private email sent to members in 2006 was leaked and among the club’s exclusive community were names such as three-time Formula 1 world champion Sir Jackie Stewart and Glasgow curry king Satty Singh.
Robert Wiseman, the founder of the dairy company of the same name and Sir Peter Burt, the former governor of the Bank of Scotland and chairman of ITV were also members before they passed away.
The son of Rangers chairman Sir David Murray, also called David, was on the same list.
And of course there is an illustrious group of elite golfers who have forked out for membership, including Sir Nick Faldo, Hale Irwin and Arnold Palmer.
Top Scots such as Colin Montgomerie, Sandy Lyle and Bernard Gallacher were also listed as members, and the course is a favourite of current PGA Tour and Scottish Open champ Robert MacIntyre.
Many more familiar faces from the worlds of film and sport have graced Loch Lomond’s lush fairways over the years such as Ally McCoist, Walter Smith and none other than Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood.
More recently, Spider-Man himself (Tom Holland) swooped in for a game – and called it the “best course he’d ever played”.
And even those high profile names would only have been able to play thanks only an invite from a kind member.
That’s because Loch Lomond is one of the few courses in Scotland where visitors can’t just turn up and pay to play.
Renowned venues such as St Andrews and Trump Turnberry and other Open favourites like Carnoustie, Muirfield and Royal Troon are all available to play for any punter (who can afford it, that is).
But Loch Lomond is different. You must either be a member or be invited on as a members’ guest (as we’ve discussed, finding one of them in the UK is no mean feat).
Contrary to popular opinion though there is a way to play the course without a member’s help.
For just over £1,000 per head, you can apply to play in Variety Golf’s charity event at the course.
The path to become a member is far from easy.
You must be nominated and vetted by a current member before being accepted.
Assuming that checks out, the chances are money is no object.
Which is just as well, considering the joining fee has risen from a reported £75,000 in 2006 to the most recent estimate of £160,000.
Annual fees have also increased from around £5,000 per year to around £7,000 per year.
What do the members get for all that cash?
For starters, a lot of responsibility.
The club says: “Membership carries with it responsibility and opportunity in equal measure. Responsibility to uphold the club’s unique spirit and global reputation, and the opportunity to meet and foster long-standing relationships with accomplished individuals from all corners of the globe.
“World class golf is our raison d’etre, but our membership is not defined by it.
“Our members enjoy world class facilities, but covet the camaraderie and bonds created by this very special place.”
Despite its lofty status, Loch Lomond is still relatively young in golfing terms.
It was opened (in its current guise) in 1993 after Arizona businessman Lyle Anderson bought the land with a vision to turn it into an exclusive hideaway resort, a “private and discerning international golf club.”
The club has a spa within a walled garden and the impressive 18th century Georgian mansion, the elegant Rossdhu House, is a dominating presence in which members can wine and dine in luxury after a round.
The course itself is championship-calibre, designed by former Open champion-turned top course architect Tom Weiskopf, in conjunction with Jay Morrish.
Weiskopf described Loch Lomond as his “last memorial to golf”, stirring words that are fitting for such a stirring setting.
It stretches to 7,100 yards from the back tees (6,300 from the middle) and aside from the loch itself, water features on many of the holes in the form of burns and ponds. The rough isn’t overly penal (think of your typical American rough) but the bunkers are large and with this being a wet area of Scotland, the lush fairways don’t offer too much in the way of run on your ball.
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Unlike links courses, there aren’t any hidden bounces or blind shots at Loch Lomond. The challenge – whether it be staying out of the trees, navigating bunkers or avoiding the water – is laid out in front of you.
It’s just that the real challenge is in actually getting a game.
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