Stomach-turning meals on a cruise sound more like a trip to the ship’s doctor than a trip of a lifetime, but not when exploring the Mekong River with companies that strive so hard to give guests an immersive journey that they’ll risk offering dining experiences as gross as they are engrossing.
From the bug-infested buffet to a tour guide’s disturbing wartime survival story over lunch, a recent river cruise in Southeast Asia proved that at least one vacation company delivers on connecting guests with people, places and cultures from one unforgettable port of call to another. That’s a promise all cruise lines make, but often fall short. Scenic Luxury Cruises & Tours isn’t one of them.
“Welcome to KFC … Khmer Fried Critters,” a cook enthusiastically greeted guests to a lunchtime buffet featuring proteins that if alive and scattering would probably shut the place down for health code violations. The day’s menu introduced the uninitiated to creepy, crawly Cambodian cuisine. Dim sum steamer baskets brimming over with tarantulas, silkworms, water beetles, grasshoppers, crickets and baby frogs was a tad off-putting even to this guy who has snacked on guinea pig in Peru and cicadas and scorpions on the streets of China. But as they say, when in the land of the Khmer, do as the Khmer do. Those who did, including yours truly, are now ready for a reboot of “Fear Factor.”
Novelty nibbles became food for thought at the next day’s lunch. Between bites of lemongrass chicken and pork satay, a Vietnamese-born Scenic guide shared that yesterday’s bug buffet which disgusted most and made heroes out of some kept him and his family alive around the time of the fall of Saigon in 1975. With food scarce, they were forced to eat “what crawled in and around the house and what we dug up outside,” as he put it. Hoan’s heart-rending story added gravitas to an already emotive cruise, and those of us who ate Scenic’s version of KFC the prior day would never eat a fried hairy tarantula the same again.
Between the exotic foods, fascinating temples — bucket list-worthy Angkor Wat included — and people as warm as the balmy climate, there’s a unique and indelible “eat, pray, love” quality to behold in this part of Southeast Asia. A raw, authentic adventure is what’s in store for those who cruise the gritty Mekong, and it’s not always pretty. One day it’s a visit to a wet market in Vietnam, easily an animal lover’s worst nightmare, and another day you’re at the Killing Fields and other Cambodian sites where atrocities to humans were conducted in the 1970s by the genocidal Khmer Rouge.
You want enchanting? Then cruise Europe’s castle-dotted Danube, Rhone, Rhine and Elbe rivers. You want environmental? The Amazon awaits. Being enthralled is your passion? A sail on the Seine through Paris makes for a bon voyage. But if you want engrossing to the point where you constantly need to remind your senses that what they’re being exposed to is “cultural,” then the mighty, mystical Mekong is the ticket.
Most luxury river cruises in what many call “the real Asia” navigate the Lower Mekong Delta between two hubs: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam’s largest city also known as Saigon, and Siem Reap, Cambodia’s second-largest metropolis and gateway to Angkor Wat. Upper Mekong voyages though Laos are less popular, evident from the dearth of major cruise lines meandering that section of the 2,700-mile river, the world’s twelfth-longest. The mainstream that goes upstream (starting in Ho Chi Minh) or downstream (from Siem Reap) have a choice of top brands; AmaWaterways, Avalon, CroisiEurope, Emerald, Scenic, Uniworld and Viking each promises to get you there in style, some more luxuriously than others.
One of the safer bets for what is likely a once-in-a-lifetime trip is Scenic (scenicusa.com), which if a recent expedition from Ho Chi Minh to Siem Reap is any indication, runs a tight ship in one of the most logistically challenging destinations in the world. For nine nights on the 68-passenger Scenic Spirit and four more using a hotel as base, guests were treated to near-flawless ship and shore operations. The ability to put oneself on autopilot under mostly third-world conditions is huge.
Scenic doesn’t make things easy for itself with robust itineraries that reward the adventurous and ambitious. Just getting people around is an accomplishment considering all the modes of transportation involved on a dynamic Mekong cruise. Comfortable coaches are deployed for longer excursions including a visit to Phnom Penh’s magnificent Royal Palace, an awesome experience teaching English to Cambodian children during Sunday school, and the five-hour drive to Siem Reap for guests ending their trek at Angkor Wat.
Much more exciting are the flat-bottomed wooden sampans used when visiting floating villages, mangroves and a stilted house where a Vietnamese farming family sleeps in a mattress-less bedroom right above the cows. A tour to a Cao Dai temple in the border town of Tan Chau puts guests on a xe loi, the locals’ idea of a pedicab. In bustling Phenom Penh, it’s a three-wheeled, tuk tuk-like remork that takes guests from A to B, or using the Khmer alphabet, from ka to kha.
A big part of cruising the Mekong is gaining insight into the spiritual world. Visits to sprawling temple grounds holy to Buddhists and Hindus are on nearly every day’s agenda. Guests from all cruise lines have opportunities to interact with the devoted and robed living at these consecrated complexes, be it in a Q&A setting with a monk or nun, or for a blessing inside a shrine. Scenic is one cruise line that goes above and beyond, actually providing passengers with local currency as an offering to the samanera, or novice monks, in an outdoor ritual.
Transcendental as these temple visits can be, on upstream sails that end in Siam Reap they are opening acts to exploring Angkor Wat, the largest religious monument in the world at 402 acres. Originally built in 1150 CE as a Hindu temple dedicated to the god Vishnu for the Khmer Empire, the symbol on Cambodia’s flag gradually transformed into a Buddhist temple toward the end of the 12th century.
Better Mekong River cruises include Angkor Wat, and the best of those offer two partial days there. Beholding the iconic main complex at sunrise is a must — well worth the 4 a.m. wake-up call from your hotel, which if going with Scenic is Raffles’ well-located, five-star Grand Hotel d’Angkor. Crowds are way down since the pandemic, about 70% compared to pre-COVID numbers, but an early rise is still recommended to stake out the best spot to take the obligatory photo of the temple towers behind the north or south pond.
Which brings up a catch-22. A pond may not be full enough for that awesome reflection shot in the dry season from November to April. Still, this is the high season for good reasons: The promise of clear skies and cooler temperatures of around 86 degrees. Of course, that also means a higher number of tourists and prices to match. Besides more favorable weather, the colorful Vietnamese Lunar New Year, or Tet, typically falls between mid-January and late February, followed by spring flowers coming in bloom.
While the shoulder seasons of May and October are a happy medium between weather and wallet, the best deals tend to be during the wet season from June to September. Scenic, for example, was offering an 11-day “Temple Discovery and Luxury Mekong Cruise” for $6,690 per person, airfare included, at press time. That was over $1,500 off peak season fares. Any time of year, Scenic sails are all-inclusive; shore excursions, on-ship entertainment, meals with 24-hour room service, beverages, a gala dinner at a 10th-century Hindu temple, Cambodian circus performance, hotels, transportation, gratuities and a host of surprises are folded into the cost.
Inclusions and perks vary depending on the cruise line, if not the ship itself. Same as with land-based hospitality, service tends to be more intimate and cuisine more elevated the higher you go. Luxury brand AmaWaterways (amawaterways.com) has the 124-guest AmaDara that, like the similar-class Scenic Spirit with half the passenger capacity, has a pool, spa and fitness center onboard. Another high-end ship sailing in Southeast Asia is Uniworld’s 68-passenger Mekong Jewel (uniworld.com). Also highly regarded and more on the four-star level are the 84-capacity Emerald Harmony (emeraldcruises.com), 80-guest Viking Saigon (vikingrivercruises.com) and 35-passenger Avalon Saigon (avalonwaterways.com).
