Most people I know hate networking. The very word can conjure unpleasant connotations for so many of us. This aversion is why a full re-framing of networking is so important, especially as we progress in our careers.
A great network is critical to every worker’s professional success. It’s not just about paying it forward to those below you and help them get a leg up. Relationships and social capital are critical to our careers—especially as we advance towards leadership positions.
Too often we hold back from fully investing in networking. Anxieties stop us from taking the leap and making introductions to new people. Or we ask ourselves, What if something goes wrong after I put these two people in touch? But the real travesty that people should fear is, for every introduction made, there are 10 that could have been—10 introductions that could have made a meaningful difference to someone’s life and career.
I have been the beneficiary of many crucial introductions, especially during inflection points in my career. I have learned that it’s this inclination to hold back that stymies our own network and our own success. The answer is to embrace networking generosity. Generosity in making connections requires three factors: trust, letting go, and intentionality.
Trust
Trust is an important part of building a great network. Trust doesn’t mean believing the person you are introducing is perfect. It means you trust in their sincerity and integrity. If you have a basic level of trust in these two areas, I recommend that you make any potential introductions you can.
Letting go
Letting go means you should not feel responsible for the outcome of an introduction you make. Both people you are connecting are grown-ups, and they know you aren’t to blame for how they interact as individuals. The chemistry may or may not match. Irrespective, they will appreciate you making the effort to introduce them.
Letting go is also about not expecting anything in return. We have all come across the “I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine” mentality that can give the whole concept of networking such a shallow and transactional feeling. Don’t worry about payback; whether indirectly or directly, generosity almost always gets rewarded over the medium- and long-term. And if you want the psychological evidence behind this phenomenon, I suggest you read Adam Grant’s Give and Take.
Intentionality
Then there’s the final principle of building a strong network: Be intentional. Look proactively for opportunities to make useful connections. And then put a small amount of effort into this every day. One introduction a day will take five minutes of your time—and I can promise you there will be a few better uses for those five minutes. Personally, I try to make introductions first thing in the morning so they don’t get crowded out by other commitments.
If we can learn to embrace generosity in this area of our lives, we are more likely to receive generosity in return. Social capital is one of our most important assets in our careers, especially as we get more senior. So try to dispel the less positive connotations with networking: Focus on not just building social capital for yourself, but on sharing it with others as generously as you can. It’s one of the few assets that when you share it, you benefit both yourself and others at large.
