As your parents age, it can often feel like you have swapped roles. Now you’re the one taking care of everything, from scheduling Mom and Dad’s doctor’s appointments to driving them where they need to go. But even if your aging parents welcome some aspects of this role reversal—you did give them anxiety-induced heartburn all through your teen years, and turnabout is fair play—they may struggle to accept it when you start taking responsibility for their finances.
It can feel nearly impossible to balance your parents’ need for independence with your need to protect them, especially when it comes to an issue as fraught as financial decisions. But ignoring the real financial dangers facing your elderly parents could hurt you all.
Here’s what you need to know about assuming responsibility for Mom and Dad’s finances as they age.
Know when to start
When it comes to making choices regarding aging parents’ finances, many of us assume we can cross that bridge when we get to it. Rather than broach the subject before it’s needed (and get an angry “I’m not that old!” from the old man), it’s easier to wait until there is a problem.
Unfortunately, a lot can go wrong before you’re aware of a problem. In fact, an early sign of cognitive difficulties is a decline in financial capabilities. According to research published in JAMA Internal Medicine, seniors with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia were more likely to miss bill payments six years before receiving an official diagnosis.
Additionally, all seniors, no matter their cognitive abilities, are more vulnerable to scams than other age demographics. The FBI reports that more than 101,000 Americans over age 60 reported being the victim of elder fraud in 2023, losing an average of $33,915 per victim. Considering how underreported financial scams tend to be, the approximately $3.4 billion in reported losses to elder fraud in 2023 is most likely an underestimate.
Waiting until you know your aging parents are struggling with their finances can cost them. So as uncomfortable as the subject may be, it’s wise to bring it up before you think it’s necessary.
