As an introvert, I dread large conferences. I get invited to a number throughout the year, and I usually scramble to find excuses for why I can’t attend. Since I have spent much of my career posing as an extrovert, some people are surprised to discover that I really don’t enjoy networking at large gatherings. I worry about feeling overwhelmed by the crowds, not remembering people’s names, having to sit alone for meals, drawing a blank and not being able to engage in small talk, and, of course, worried I won’t know anyone there. Just thinking through all of this is absolutely exhausting.
Last year, I was invited to speak and attend Transform, a conference focused on driving innovation in the workplace. The same dread took over me as I committed to attend. And after spending a few days in Las Vegas with a few thousand attendees, I think I finally cracked the code for myself on how to approach large conferences as an introvert. So this year, as I prepare to attend again, I have a game plan to get the most out of this conference. Here’s my advice on how to navigate and network at large conferences.
Plan your days in advance, including who you’ll talk to
Now, I prepare for the conference weeks before I even arrive. If possible, I try to stay at the hotel where the conference is taking place. And if not, as close as possible. I take a look at when the conference begins and when it ends, and I study the agenda topics and list of sessions. I take a note of the speakers and who is attending and see if I see any familiar faces. If available, I use the conference app to keep track of the sessions I want to attend and message and connect with people before the conference.
I also check if any colleagues or friends are attending the conference, what days, and coordinate travel and even share Ubers to and from the airport. Last year, I planned to meet a friend who was also attending in the lobby in the mornings and walked to sessions together, and when I was feeling anxious I texted her to grab a coffee or snack. We also walked out of the conference at the end of the day and grabbed a drink. I was happy to have a buddy I could rely on when I was feeling out of place or overwhelmed by the crowds.
Find the super connectors
While large conferences can be intimidating, I also want to push myself to meet new people. I set a goal of meeting at least three new people a day. This can be daunting if you feel uncomfortable walking up to a stranger or breaking into a circle of people and introducing yourself. My plan now is to find the super connectors and have them help me meet new people. I try not to apply expectations on what these introductions could lead to. Some of these new people I have a lovely interaction with and we don’t connect again. And some of these new people I hit it off with and we stay in touch post conference.
My friend Dinah Alobeid, a communications executive, is a super connector who knows a variety of people across sectors and industries. She had me grab a coffee with her and then invited me to stand with her and her team at the Greenhouse booth in the exhibitor area. It was an easier way to meet people who came to their booth, as opposed to going around the large area alone and trying to force myself to stop and booth after booth after booth and make small talk (I did do that later, and of course brought my friend Sarah along.)
My friend David Landman, an human resources executive, is also a super connector who seems to make friends wherever he goes. He plugged me into all the social events that were happening. He also found me the very first morning of the conference during a break and introduced me to people. He then got me invited to lunches, happy hours, and dinners so I didn’t have to worry about who to meet with and if I would be sitting alone. He even met me in the lobby so we could walk over to evening events together. I felt so much more at ease not having to enter rooms alone where I may not know anyone.
Prioritize time to decompress
Finally, I stopped putting pressure on myself to do every single thing at the conference. There’s so much happening at a large conference like Transform you can want to make the most of it and take advantage of everything being offered. The first year I went, I tried to do it all, and left feeling exhausted and depleted.
Now, I don’t pressure myself to attend every single session. I take breaks, I grab a coffee and go and recharge for a few minutes alone. I usually have my journal with me to take notes. I also go back to my hotel room to freshen up or sit in the quiet and recharge before heading back downstairs. I give myself permission to leave when I want to. I also find by doing this, I am much more present and attentive when I am at the conference and one on one conversations.
One evening, I wasn’t feeling great and couldn’t make it out to dinner plans. My friend Sally Wolf, a wellbeing advisor and keynote speaker, invited me to come to her hotel room, and join her and her friend Danielle Farage, a speaker on Generation Z corporate talent. I was hesitant at first to go, and then felt at ease as soon as I walked into their room. We nibbled on snacks and chatted for over an hour. It was great to connect with conference attendees in a more informal, casual setting.
With preparation and pre-planning, with the help of super connectors, and prioritizing time to decompress, large conferences don’t have to be an introvert’s worst nightmare. In fact, now with my plan in place, I am excited to attend Transform and other large conferences this coming year. I am on a mission to learn and open my mind to topics, be present and share my expertise and knowledge, and hopefully make at least one or two new friends along the way.
