Whether it’s a game of Snap with my nephews, Scrabble with my 75-year-old granny, or an all-in, family game of Monopoly, every member of the Hendley Clan is in it to win it and still-developing (or declining) skills and abilities will not be accommodated for – at least not in a way that may adversely impact our ability to win.
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While not every family is like mine or the Middletons, competitiveness while playing any activity or game where winning is an option, is incredibly common says Dr Rebecca Ray, a clinical psychologist and author.
“Family games often stir up a sense of competition because everyone wants to win, and in a family setting, that desire can be even stronger,” Ray says, adding that for some families it is more common than others, especially if your family has a playful or competitive streak.
Ray also says how people behave during a game often mirrors real-life dynamics.
“You might see sibling rivalry play out, or notice how certain family members handle winning and losing. It’s a snapshot of everyone’s personalities – some are more laid-back, while others might take the game very seriously.”
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My competitiveness emerged early in life, during primary school – AKA the peak Uno years.
I still remember relishing games against my great aunt Dot, a woman in her late 80s with failing eyesight that meant she struggled to differentiate between the green and blue cards. In my young mind, this was an advantage to be used in my gameplay. Thankfully, Dot was a much better person than I and found this amusing.
Now, nearly 40, I have become comfortable in my morally and ethically questionable competitive gameplay. But because my own children and husband are also this way inclined, “family game night” isn’t as kosher as it was with Aunty Dot, instead, it’s more akin to a gladiator pit, where only the winner emerges alive.
In our most recent bout, Battle de la Scattergories, a brutal scene took place when my youngest daughter stormed off in frustration after not being able to think of a tool beginning with y; my eldest daughter argued with me about why “a Yamaha tool kit” should be counted as a tool rather than a brand; and after coming last, my husband declared: “This is the worst game ever. I’m never playing it again!”
As the winner, though, I emerged from the linguistic arena alive and triumphant, anointing myself Scattergories Queen. The Middletons, I’m sure, would be royally impressed.
Shona Hendley is a freelance writer based in Victoria.
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