The Basketball Gods have bestowed bountiful blessings upon us.
The Boston Celtics are NBA champions.
Team USA departed France as Olympic victors in men’s and women’s basketball.
The constellation Roundballius last reached such perfect 360-degree calibration in 2008.
Boston won 80 of 101 games this past season and curb-stomped all comers through the NBA Finals. Jayson Tatum, Jrue Holiday and Derrick White return from Paris with gold medals.
Tatum and his snubbed teammate Jaylen Brown have been gifted just enough motivation to wipe out the NBA next season. Think post-Deflategate Tom Brady.
Steve Kerr, who owes his success as basketball career as a player to Michael Jordan and success as a coach to Steph Curry, dropped a deuce of his own when he peeved Tatum’s mom (via X), Bob Cousy (via the Globe’s Dan Shaughnessy) and Wyc Grousbeck (via “The Greg Hill Show”).
Take Boston -65.5 when the Warriors visit TD Garden this season.
‘Chef Curry’ will be ordering from Grub Hub that night.
The Team USA women boasted a pair of UConn alumnae in Diana Taurasi (who owns 6 gold medals) and Breanna Stewart (who owns 3).
New England hasn’t enjoyed such complete basketball dominance since Dr. Naismith hung those peach bins at Springfield College.
Sadly, such an alignment may never happen again.
Sure, the Celtics timed Banner 18 to match up with the Olympics, as they did with Banner 17 in 2008.
But the rest of the world has caught the USA in basketball.
The men needed Curry to find his inner Kobe Bryant to beat France in the gold-medal game. The Team women held off their host-nation counterparts by one point, one foot on the on 3-point line, and one possession.
Everything. Is. Just. Perfect.
There’s only one person who could screw it all up. You got it.
John Henry.
We learned last week that Fenway Sports Group (FSG) has teamed up with RedBird Capital to make a serious run at buying the Boston Celtics.
“LeBron James could end up a Celtics owner as Fenway Sports considers purchase: sources” read the headline in the New York Post Friday.
That’s also the title of the next “Friday The 13th” sequel. A nightmare on Causeway Street.
Freddy Krueger chose the blades in his fingers as his tool of choice. Jason Voorhees leaned heavily on the machete. Michael Myers favored a chef’s knife.
Henry prefers death by 40 million cuts.
As in “let’s cut $40 million from the Red Sox payroll over 5 years.”
The only blood he spills is on the balance sheet.
The 2019 Red Sox payroll was $229,166,880 and the 2024 Red Sox payroll is $189,425,115.
Adjusted for inflation, the Red Sox have trimmed $67.5 million salary between 2019 and 2024. According to the math I was taught in the Arlington Public School system, that means the Red Sox have cut their payroll 30.6% in real dollars over the past five years.
Then again, the best pitcher on the team these days is Dom Smith. Maybe Henry is on to something.
The projected price tag for the Celtics is $5.1 billion. Here are three reasons why.
One, there’s only one “Boston Celtics.”
Two, the Phoenix Suns, who last won a championship never and also do not own their own arena, were sold for $4 billion in 2022.
Three, the NBA’s new 11-year, $76 billion TV/streaming means beaucoup bucks for all, including the players. The Association pulls in $167 million per year in betting-related revenue. The salary cap is based on 44.74% of all basketball-related revenue. This year, it’s $140.558 million.
What will the fates hold for the Celtics if Henry, FSG, and RedBird win this bidding war?
For now, not much. Thankfully. Before and after Irv Grousbeck gave the Code Red to sell, Wyc spent like a teen-ager who just found dad’s Black Amex Card.
Including Brown’s supermax extension signed before last season, the Celtics committed to spending $851.741 million on Brown, Tatum, White and Holiday through 2030. More than $770 million of that will be covered by the new owners, assuming they close the first part of the sale before the start of the 2025-26 season.
Brown turns 28 in October. He’s signed through 2029. Tatum is 26. His new $313.9 million, $62.786 million per-year-average extension runs through 2030. It includes a final-year player option.
Both are over 30 when their deals expire.
Adios under FSG ownership.
Holiday and White will be in Celtics Green through at least 2026-27. Holiday has a player option for 2027-28. White has one after the following season.
The FSG Celtics could well be depleted elsewhere. Imagine a bench consisting of Bronny James and nine guys from the Belgium Olympic team. Sure, LeBron as owner would be a great lure for free agents. But players still want to get paid.
And there’s nothing to prevent Brown or Tatum from consenting to a trade if the Celtics become just another “asset” on Henry’s FSG ledger. And/or FSG takes a similar fiscal approach toward the Celtics in the next 5 years that it took toward the Red Sox in the previous 5 years.
It’s even harder to envision Brad Stevens sticking around for any potential fire sale or “rebuild.”
The Celtics estimated luxury tax bill this season is $65 million. It soars to $219 million for 2025-26, as Boston’s total payroll and tax combine for an NBA record $513 million.
There’s no reason to believe FSG will cough up eight or nine figures in luxury taxes on an annual basis, indefinitely.
So enjoy this basketball moment as if it’s your last.
Because it will likely never happen again.
Olympics or not.
Bill Speros can be reached at [email protected]. He posts on “X” at @RealOBF and @BillSperos.
