Poor airport behaviour by me, and not for the first time. I’ve outed myself before for “Karening” at a departure gate.
Not trying to downplay my own relentless putting of myself first, but anyone else cracked it lately or been unable to see someone else’s perspective? Anecdotally and statistically it’s a thing. Rude behaviour is contagious and on the rise, a 2023 study in the Harvard Business Review found.
Certainly, our roads are becoming battlegrounds. The number of drivers verbally abused has risen by 18 per cent since 2020, and those who admitted to intentionally hurting or threatening another driver doubled from 2021 to 2023, according to a survey by insurance company Budget Direct.
More than 92 per cent of retailers surveyed by the Australian Retailers Association last year said they or a team member had experienced verbal or physical assault at work. Much of it when they approached someone caught doing something wrong, like shoplifting.
Adult tantrums, tourists wrecking things to get selfies, audiences throwing things during shows at Harry Styles and Cardi B. Why are we losing touch with civility? Social media’s “main character mentality”, which makes us think we’re special, stress – Christ, pick your poison there – and decaying societal connections, experts say.
And yeah, the pandemic. During COVID, “it was like every man for himself,” New York neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez told Axios. “Almost like we gave ourselves silent permission to drop our pretences.”
One American Airlines pilot had enough of the lack of decorum on his flights last July and, in audio that went viral, he urged fliers to “be nice” and “respectful” to each other: “I shouldn’t have to say that.”
Recently, a US judge went one further, tackling rudeness with what’s been called “the empathy punishment”. The case: a Cleveland woman hurled a burrito bowl in the face of a fast food joint’s employee because her food took ages to prepare and looked “disgusting”. The punishment: walk in the victim’s shoes.
In sentencing Rosemary Hayne, judge Timothy Gilligan offered an unusual deal: Hayne could shave 60 days off her jail time if she worked in a fast-food restaurant for 20 hours a week for two months – an experiment in forced empathy.
Hayne took the deal. She got a job at a Burger King, which told the judge their new employee was so good they wanted to keep her. Hayne quit anyway as soon as she could, but said she’d “grown” from the experience.
Empathy! Beats jail. Cheaper than therapy. Virgin, should you need me, I’m happy to man your lounge door for a day.
Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.
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